22:08p.m., Friday, 22 May 2015
Karma Sutra, Kosher Sex, Foods for Fabulous Sex... Yes -- I got it from my mama.
And no, you naughty minds, I don't mean it that way. What I mean is:
Not every parent is comfortable having the sex talk with their kids, let alone using the S word in front of them, but my mom was the rare exception. It's not that she was comfortable doing it, but the need to be open with us overrode every fear and discomfort she had. She based many of her talks and lectures with us on music videos, TV shows, movies, and other peoples' and her own personal experiences. With the increase in adolescent sexual activity and pregnancy, she wanted us to understand that our chastity was a sacred entity, and not something to lose simply to fit in. While those messages were comforting at home, reality was a little harsher in the confines of school grounds and social circles -- where virgins were colossal losers -- ranking at 100 on a scale from one to ten. But you live through it, fortunately with your self-esteem and hymen somewhat intact. Turns out my mother's messages never fell on deaf ears and I was able withhold the urge to indulge in the forbidden fruit until a few months before I turned 21. As raging as my hormones were throughout my teenagehood, somehow, I managed to shift it completely to the back of my mind and remain immune to the 'power of the penis'. But that's a chorus for another song.
Before I did the deed however, a few months before my Empress passed on (aka 'the apocalypse'), she sat me down with her in the bedroom I then shared with my sister, and we had a heartfelt discussion I didn't see coming. I had always been a highly ambitious young person growing up, and my lack of (or well-concealed, rather) interest in men concerned her (and even triggered fears of potential lesbianism). She didn't want me to be one of those hardworking women with all the money in the world and no one to share it with, and she did her best to let me know in a series of talks we had regularly. On this one particular day, she gave me a gift I didn't feel I was prepared to receive. She reached under her feet, and, stacked in a small pile were about six books she handed to me. She began to explain that now was probably not the right time for me to explore their contents (with me being a manless virgin and all), but assured me the time would come when I would find them useful. She just wanted to ensure that I was well-equipped whenever the opportunity availed itself. Naturally, I was overcome by embarrassment taking books with erotic titles like Karma Sutra, Kosher Sex and Food for Fabulous Sex from my Mom, but I'm immensely grateful she did that. It was her subtle reminder that she too had been young, clueless and in need of sexual guidance. And there wasn't anything wrong with that.
Naturally as you would imagine, I never read the books while she was around. In fact, I kept them hidden far; I didn't want to give people the wrong impression about having them in my possession. I'm already non-religious so the topic wouldn't sit too well with my religious friends; they'd be convinced this was certainly the work of the devil, and I wasn't in the mood for another failed exorcism. I continued to hide them for more than three years after 'the apocalypse'. But earlier this year, while searching a few boxes for my old notebooks and journals, I stumbled across them. The smile I had on my face in that moment thinking about Mommy Dearest and the day she gave them to me... I realised I'm a grown young woman, and there's nothing wrong with having these books a part of my visible book collection. It's my space, and I'll do with it as I please. Just as equally, I read what I like. Excuse me while I be frank, but there's nothing wrong with someone wanting to explore the limits of their bodies and their sexual pleasure -- whether it's for themselves or their partners. And women are just as entitled in that regard as men are.
No comments:
Post a Comment