Tuesday 16 August 2016

TTS: Interludes of Life

12:19 p.m., Tuesday, 16 August 2016

I left Half of a Yellow Sun behind at work yesterday.

Damn it.

So heartbreaking. I was on my way home when I realised I hadn’t taken it off of the shelf next to my desk. (That anxiety creeps in when I'm engrossed in a good book.) I contemplated getting out of my usual ride home to go back for it, but didn’t for lack of a better reason. It kept me unsettled for most of the night. My poor book, all alone, with no one to peruse and embrace it. I should’ve put it in my bag. I should’ve left it on my desk where it would’ve jumped out at me before leaving. I should’ve… But I didn’t. I’ll admit that I may be a tad too attached to my books. Even the not-so-good ones. This might be the perfect time to exercise my detachment, non-judgement and inner-nonresistance. I think I’ve done a pretty OK job so far, but there’s always room for improvement.

On that note: I meditated again this Sunday after eons. For about 20 minutes. It was a brief but nourishing taste of serenity. My mind was typically restless, but I was able to maintain a certain level of focus throughout. It still helped. A lot. Very often, when I feel I’ve neglected myself, going within myself is the best fix. It’s a cure for any disease really: Failure, disaster, sickness. Men. I’m asking myself why I don’t do it regularly since it works.

Don’t have an answer.

I just overthink it, I guess.


- Trace

Friday 12 August 2016

TTS: Interludes of Life

09:41 p.m., Friday, 12 August 2016

So...

As much as I enjoy telephonically speaking with strangers who constantly urge me to buy things from them I probably don't need, I understand that the caller shares my excitement for his job and prefers not to have the phone slammed down on him occasionally. I also understand the odd new Facebook friend's insistence on getting my cell number and home address. There are many bogus and bad people on the web -- he needs surety that I'm one of the good ones, and what better way to earn his trust than to let him drop by or call me at will.

 Talk about the "perfect stranger". What a catch...

When I see him, he'll get the password to my phone.




- Trace


Thursday 11 August 2016

TTS: Interludes fo Life


16:00 p.m., Thursday, 11 August 2016


It's on it's way! Just as I was dreadfully counting the minutes to Monday. 

Tuesday 9 August 2016

TTS: Interludes of Life

08:53 a.m., Tuesday, 10 August 2016

I'm very impatient this morning.

Last night, I bought myself a Berkeley Case Logic backpack online and the delivery's scheduled for Monday. (Jee. Sus.) I'm itching to get my hands on it now. If you don't know, backpacks are to me what red bottoms are to most women: the holy grail of fashionable perfection. I love them. I first saw it at Checkers in Eastgate Mall and was ready to buy it for R750, but the penny pincher in me was decidedly reluctant, so I compared the price to what's online. And what do you know: Takealot has it for R250 less. Obviously, I placed my order.

But waiting's the devil. 

I guess I'm used to instant gratification -- when I see something I like, I often buy it same time. I'm not so fond of this waiting game. It's exhausting. (And a bitch.)

Good mental exercise though. 



-Trace
A well deserved Happy Women's Day to every woman who appreciates the luxury of making up her own mind, and who deems herself worthy of her own respect.

TTS: Interludes of Life

20:33 p.m., Tuesday, 9 August 2016

I'm probably one of the biggest fools on the planet. 

Were it not for my stupidity, today, I could've been Mrs So-and-So – the esteemed concubine of a multi-millionaire polygamist. Never having to work another day in my life. Instead, I choose to run for the 07h00 bus to work on most mornings. I could've still been in a relationship with a man who insists on buying me anything my heart desires, but I'm hung up on handwritten letters and impossible gifts – like books, and time. I could've lived by that other one's rules to keep him happy, but my abstract way of thinking would never let me. I could be less complex for the men who claim to love me, but I don't know any better.

I'm a fool.

A hopelessly simple girl.

And simple girls usually aren't easily tamed.


- Trace

Monday 8 August 2016

12:28 p.m., Monday, 8 August 2016

I feel horrible.

I hate disappointing the most important people in my life.

I'm sorry, dad.

Friday 5 August 2016






Being "nice" to Tracy doesn't come easy to Mafa -- he prefers the Tough-Tove express, lol... I going to treasure this. :)

TTS: Interludes of Life

03:51 p.m., Friday, 5 August 2016

This old gal is a year older now.

I'm 25!

And, man, it feels... 24-ish. But better.

I've been having these small realisations that I'm actually 10 years older than the kid I usually feel like I still am. (Well, before I have to pay the bills each month and wake up for work each morning. Then I feel 50.) I still see that 15-year-old in the mirror every day. She hasn't changed much. And I'm glad. As much as life's toughened her in many ways, I'm grateful  she hasn't been hardened by the difficult times.

I still love like a puppy and blush like a school girl.

No drama. (Yet.)
No little ones. (Yet.)
No bee. Boo. Bae... whatever he's called. (Yet.)

Even my biological clock ticking away hasn't scared me into shacking up with anyone. (Yet.) I know many great guys and have went on some great dates. But... I don't know... maybe I'm "too comfortable" being single? Or maybe it feels fugging awesome keeping myself to myself? There are definitely worthy suitors... I guess I'm that selfish, maybe?

I made out with a guy I dated back in college last week Friday. (Ha!) Can't remember the last time that happened, so I must've thought, "Maybe he's got Lindt Cookies and Cream chocolate in his mouth." (Clearly, I'd do anything for Lindt Cookies and Cream chocolate.) He called me the next morning wanting to see me and "my phone died".

Sorry, guy. It was just a kiss, not a love-back.

Had a party on Saturday. Cute guys and gals everywhere.

A birthday dinner on Monday with my twin sister, her boyfriend, his brother and his girlfriend. (Couples, basically.) The candle didn't burn much though.

Now back to the point of this post -- before I drift further into the chambers of my non-existent romantic life...

Pumla and me received loved from all directions this week, and I'm proud to say I'm becoming slightly less awkward at being on the receiving end of it. 

So, here's to life, and to me for finally getting rid the training wheels!


- Trace