14:20 p.m., Tuesday, 7 July 2015
Someone (we'll refer to 'someone' as Cute Guy) recently asked me why I don't keep up with basketball anymore, and I can't remember exactly what my response was, but it was something along the lines of, 'I lost interest in it'.
I lied.
Truth is, like a lot of other things, I suppressed my interest in it. I could have explained why, but it's a lot easier to say I lost interest.
Well, here's what happened:
After 'the apocalypse', I pushed a lot of people away, did fewer things and cut out anything that reminded me of her. No Celine Dion or Mariah Carey. Or certain foods. Or certain movies. Or certain places. Or certain things. Or even basketball. Even to this day, I haven't had the courage to face some of these things again -- they honestly always bring me to tears as I'm forcefully reminded of what life was like with her and I don't want that. I have -- to a great deal -- abandoned that life. While I've addressed certain things, I've been running for almost four years; I haven't yet mustered the courage to manage the aftermath just yet.
My love for the game is still there, I'm just not ready to welcome it back yet. To be honest, the nostalgia of thinking about it as I write this nauseates me.
I'm ending this post.
Maybe one day I'll sing a different tune, folks. But today, I'm just not ready.
Someone (we'll refer to 'someone' as Cute Guy) recently asked me why I don't keep up with basketball anymore, and I can't remember exactly what my response was, but it was something along the lines of, 'I lost interest in it'.
I lied.
Truth is, like a lot of other things, I suppressed my interest in it. I could have explained why, but it's a lot easier to say I lost interest.
Well, here's what happened:
After 'the apocalypse', I pushed a lot of people away, did fewer things and cut out anything that reminded me of her. No Celine Dion or Mariah Carey. Or certain foods. Or certain movies. Or certain places. Or certain things. Or even basketball. Even to this day, I haven't had the courage to face some of these things again -- they honestly always bring me to tears as I'm forcefully reminded of what life was like with her and I don't want that. I have -- to a great deal -- abandoned that life. While I've addressed certain things, I've been running for almost four years; I haven't yet mustered the courage to manage the aftermath just yet.
My love for the game is still there, I'm just not ready to welcome it back yet. To be honest, the nostalgia of thinking about it as I write this nauseates me.
I'm ending this post.
Maybe one day I'll sing a different tune, folks. But today, I'm just not ready.
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